There’s an old saying that goes, “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it” However, that just isn’t always true. At times we have to do maintenance work on our cars, appliances, homes and even RELATIONSHIPS!
Waiting for the red warning lights to go off on your car’s dashboard before seeking maintenance is the quickest way to a huge repair bill. It’s the same thing in relationships. There could be a small irritation that left unattended – can cause huge miscommunication with hurt feelings and deep resentments.
Many times we get busy in life and we think, oh I’m too busy and too tired to do anything else. That not only includes taking time to check in with our significant others, but also spending real authentic time to listen and work on the more difficult snags in our communications with each other.
Some couples will try to preempt this by going on private getaways, and occasional retreats or marriage seminars, or even seek therapy when they realize they need help with someone, who can mediate and help with their communication skills.
But marriages are not the only relationships with which we need to be concerned. Just today I read an article written by a father, who’s 25 year old son had been killed in a bombing after joining a terrorist group. He explained that his son was brought up in a Christian home. However at the age of 12 years old, his son had converted to Islam during the time he and his wife were going thru a divorce.
Here are the words of the father, "I'd tell parents to really pay attention to their children, to listen to them, to talk to them, to convince them not to join the jihadists because learning about your son's death on the Internet is very hard, and I would not wish it upon anybody," he added, "I never would have thought he would do this, but this is what it has come to now.”
The words, ‘I never thought it would come to this’ is expressed many times in therapy in the relationships that I see. Sometimes the repairs can be made, but maintenance is always necessary in every healthy relationship.
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